Oh no, I need to get a nose job
Teddy
I merely visited an "XXX" website
Aren't you overreacting?
My uncle set me up
You're still upset about it after so long?
But, then again...
There are so many people...
looking for sugar mummies and sugar daddies
Admit that you love me so much, you're going mad
Love you so much, she's going mad?
How mushy can you get?
Don't make me laugh my head off
It's still in tact
I'm whispering sweet-nothings, Granny Mahjong
You shouldn't eavesdrop
Are you whispering at all?
Go look at your own reflection
Are you fit to woo Weixiong?
Other people may stand a chance,
but not you
Don't be so mean to Fada, Mum
I want him to give up
A toad should know its place
You're telling me to look at my own reflection...
and calling me a toad
You're getting better at deriding others
I see that you watch TV every day when you don't play mahjong
You must've picked up from the TV serials...
the evil mother-in-law's and the Empress Dowager's...
deviousness and wickedness
For goodness‘ sake, Granny Mahjong
You've got a good role model right before you
Look at Auntie Hui
She's gentle, kind and amiable
She's the model of all women
She's kind? Ask her whether she'd be...
so kind as to marry her daughter to you
Relax
Auntie Hui will never be so cruel as to break my heart
The green bean soup is boiling
You haven't given me an answer
Save it
She's too kind to hurt your pride
You don't need your brain to figure it out
All parents want their daughter to have a good husband
If anybody is willing to marry his daughter off to someone like you...
who can't even provide for himself,
something must be wrong with him
Why is everybody so snobbish?
They fail to see the kindness,
passion and great potential in me
After putting me down, Granny Mahjong,
you're hitting me
You said you'd find someone to play mahjong with me
I did
But neither one of them picked up the phone
Whom did you call?
My grandma and uncle
You're family
What if you gang up to cheat me out of my money?
Sure we will
You're an ace player in mahjong
We're no match for you
Anything. I've got the itch
It doesn't matter who I play with
Make the calls now
Why are you pacing up and down? Call them
Shh. I'm trying to figure out how to carry on with the show
You've lost me
The female lead is gone
How will I, the male lead, carry on with the show?
The female lead is right here
You don't know your place, do you?
Where mahjong is concerned, I'm the female lead
It's not like we're filming God of Gamblers
The male lead over here...
is handsome and gentlemanly
It has to be an idol drama
OK, I know how to continue with the show
Teddy, I've loads to say to you
Come out
He just won't give up - Or you'll regret it
I'm not kidding
If you miss the chance to see me this time, I've a feeling...
you won't get to see me again
I'll rejoice
Make yourself scarce this minute
She just won't yield
Here's my last resort
I'm about to leave you, dear
Please do not cry for me
The path ahead is bumpy
Please do not worry about me
When I'm not around,
take good care of yourself
When I'm away,
treasure yourself
What's keeping him?
Does he think he's king?
He's a busy man, unlike you
I'll go look for him
Don't do that. Sit
George Pu has seen you before
What if he recognises you?
All the better. We're here to ask him for money
We'll have more bargaining power if there are two of us
You can't handle him alone
That's true
There's nothing unique about you. I doubt he'll recognise you
But seriously, how much should we ask him for?
At least $1 million
Will he give it to us?
Why not?
Marking up the price...
will allow us some room to bargain with him
Leave the negotiation all to me
You only have to collect the money
You're so good to me. How much commission do you want?
Why would I want a commission from you?
Your money is your money
My money is your money too
What's the matter?
Don't make me puke
I'm George's secretary, Albert
Where's George Pu?
He can't make it
Are you Ms Diana?
Hello
I've heard about your relationship with George
But it's all in the past
You're no longer dating each other, am I right?
It's a long story
I'll cut to the chase
That playboy toyed with her and then dumped her
Who are you, sir?
He's my uncle
Ms Diana
Is what you said in the message true?
Of course
Let's not waste our breath
It's George Pu who got you into trouble, not him
Get him to come. We'll have a talk face-to-face
No. Just put up your requests with me
Come on, you're only a secretary
I'll convey them
OK, ask George whether...
he wants the baby or not
Ms Diana
Do you have a medical report to prove that you're expecting?
Not yet, but the result of the pregnancy test kit was positive
I see
I'll arrange for a medical check-up for you right away
We'll talk again if the pregnancy is confirmed
Sure, bring it on
Teddy is so heartless
She ticked me off...
and even threatened to have me arrested for making too much noise
Grandma should be cooking at this time
Grandma
She's usually at home at this hour
Why is she so different today?
Rain or shine,
she'd never miss the TV drama at 4.30 pm
Something's not right
We're getting on
We don't have much time left
But your grandson is different
He still has many years ahead of him
If you continue to spoil him...
by letting him do whatever he likes...
and live off you,
in time to come he'll...
Have you seen my grandma? She's quite short
No - Thanks
Have you seen my grandma, Cleaner Auntie?
Sure, she was here selling lottery tickets
Then, she had an argument with Old fogey
What did they argue about?
You
Me? - Yes
Old fogey accused Swordswoman of spoiling you...
and turning you into a lazy bum
He said all his children were successful
Swordswoman argued by saying...
if you'd set your mind on something,
you'd be more successful than Old fogey's children
My grandma knows me best
Did she say where she was going?
No idea
But she gave me a lottery ticket...
and wished me good luck
What else did she say?
I told her if I really won $2 million,
I'd treat her to abalone and shark's fin
But she said, "You'll have to find me first"
I knew something was amiss
Lend me your mobile, Cleaner Auntie
You're so useless
I have a mobile even though I'm a cleaner
Yet you've to borrow one
No wonder Swordswoman was despondent
Sure
How did you know she was despondent?
Old fogey's remarks must've upset her
When the young generation is a letdown,
the elders in the family can't raise their heads
You know who I'm talking about?
Sure I do
I'm calling that person to tell him off
Where are you, Uncle?
What is it? I'm seeing to an important matter
Tell Aunt I won't be home for dinner
Bye
My foot! I'm not done talking yet
Did Grandma look you up?
No. What's up?
I bet she's run away from home to escape the problems
She ran away from home?
What happened?
I should be asking you
What's it got to do with me?
No matter what trouble I get into, she won't run away from home
The whole world knows...
she cares most about you
You're the only one who'd cause her to turn in her grave
Don't start cursing Grandma
I'm just quoting you
I only said she ran away to escape the problems
It's the same
Look
If you continue to muddle along,
something's bound to happen...
whether Aunt runs away or turns in her grave
You'd better... That's it, bye
Hello
Darn it. The cheek of you to criticise me
I muddle along but your life's a mess
My mobile
Lend it to me. I'm looking for someone
No way
You even tried to con me out of my mobile
No wonder your grandma ran away
She ran away because...
you people are such gossips
Why is everybody so superficial?
Making a lot of money and holding a good job...
mean you're successful?
Before corrupt officials...
are removed from office,
they command respect
Bu what happens to them at the end of the day?
I'm the only one in the world who's awake
Never seen a hunk before?
Hibernate
To pass the winter in rest
Hi...
ber...
Nate
OK, next
This one I know
Far above the ground
A high mountain
Stallone
Sit
Good boy
Stallone
You know what it means when I say it's an important matter?
You get distracted at the sight of a pretty girl
Come over
Smell it
What are you doing, Brother Big Brother?
I'm investigating a case
What case is it?
The case of Big Brother's grandma going missing
That's Granny Swordswoman's shoe
How did you know that?
I've seen her wearing it
Granny Swordswoman has gone missing?
You're so slow
Granny Swordswoman really is missing?
You're really super slow
How did Granny Swordswoman go missing?
How long has it been?
Three hours and ten minutes
You don't call that missing. What a scare
The TV dramas say...
you must be missing for 48 hours before you're considered "missing"
When you watch TV dramas, don't you notice this disclaimer,
"This is a work of fiction"?
That means they can do it any way they like
Better trust me than the TV dramas
How is it, Stallone?
OK, I know Grandma has athlete's foot
But the smell will be a lot of help
You should know which way to go now
Come on
I'll help you look for Granny Swordswoman, Brother Big Brother
I'm so moved by your kind offer
You and Granny Swordswoman often help us
Can you do me a favour then?
Sure. What do you want me to do?
Borrow Uncle Hai's phone to call Teddy
Tell her Grandma is missing and her help is needed
Got it
Don't try to be smart
Teddy doesn't believe...
anything that concerns me now
Tell her a man is stalking you...
and you aren't sure what to do
She'll charge downstairs since she's a righteous person
Is it OK to trick her?
Sure
After she's dealt with your problem,
tell her you saw Brother Big Brother...
frantically and tragically looking for Granny Swordswoman
Tell her I've...
Where are you, Stallone?
OK
I've gone to the riverbank
Lead the way, Stallone
Kneecap
Shoot the kneecap of someone...
as an official punishment...
Walter
You saw me at last
What are you doing here?
Call it serendipity
Brother Big Brother said someone was stalking me
You're the person
Brother Big Brother? What a strange name
ls he the guy who was talking to you?
He's your boyfriend?
Nonsense
He always stands up for us...
and helps us with our problems
You're lucky he's busy. If not, you'd be doomed
Why?
You were shadowing me
I wasn't
I just happened to go the same way as you,
but you didn't notice me at all
A dictionary is more attractive than me
Come on, you were shadowing me
Well, you should've said yes
Said yes to what?
To having a meal, going to the movies and singing karaoke
You're unreasonable
You shadowed me just because I wouldn't go to the movies or eat with you
You're sick
Sure I am
I like your company
I like listening to you when you talk, when you sing...
and when you bicker with me
I'll follow you about if you ignore me
I'm happy so long as I can look at you
You're sick
Go now,
before my neighbours see you
So what if they do?
They'll beat you
Why would they do that?
You're a psychopath, that's why
Go... Someone's here
What's the matter?
Go
I won't fall for the trick
Aren't you going home for dinner?
Don't say anymore. Go
I'll wait downstairs for you. After dinner, we'll go...
Don't you get handsy with her
I...
Weixiong
Did he molest you?
No
If he did something to you, we'll have him arrested
He didn't
But I saw him touching you
No, he didn't do that
I touched him
I mean, I was pulling him away
You're still laughing
Go
You know each other?
He's my friend
You missed out one word
It's boyfriend
I'm Meimei's boyfriend
She refuses to admit it, but it's only a matter of time we become an item
I'm Walter. Hello, Weixiong
No
Don't believe him, Weixiong
He isn't my boyfriend
Why are you so nervous?
I'm not
I am a little nervous...
because Granny Swordswoman is missing
Granny Swordswoman is sprightly
I'm not so worried about her
But Brother Big Brother is very worried
He even got Stallone to help
Of course he's worried
He probably knows why Granny Swordswoman left
Why did she leave?
She could tolerate Big Brother's idleness no more,
so she left
How should I put it?
Let's put it this way
She's taking a gamble
Understand?
Not quite
When you care a lot about someone...
but he doesn't pull his socks up...
and continues to be a big letdown,
what would you do?
I'd be heartbroken
Right, as you feel upset,
you'd try to make him pull himself together
If ordinary methods don't work,
you'd adopt extreme measures
Running away from home...
is an extreme measure Granny Swordswoman has adopted
Yes
By the way, Walter...
Why did you bring him up again?
He was just ﬂirting with me
My mummy keeps reminding me...
to stay away from flirts...
as they would just be toying with me
I won't be led on
How do you know he's leading you on?
He can't possibly be attracted to me
Why not?
No way
I'm stupid, and I'm a cleaner
And I belong to the lower class
What about him then?
ls he from the upper class?
Sure. He works in a big company
My supervisor says...
all the people working there are graduates
Is there no way a graduate may be attracted to you?
Sure, in drama serials
But the girl has to be very pretty
I'm not pretty at all
You don't think you're pretty?
I'm not, my sis is
Both of you are pretty
What's more, you've a heart of gold
So I won't be surprised if he has a thing for you
That won't happen
Enough about me, Weixiong
Brother Big Brother said he'd go to the riverbank...
Brother Big Brother
Where did you go, Fang?
You weren't around when I came back. I was so worried
Fang
Have you eaten?
I'll order pizza for you
I sent money home for you today
RMB 20,000
It should be enough for your dad's hospitalization fees
Call home tomorrow
Let me know if it's not enough
I'll see what else I can do
What's the matter?
You haven't been talking to me
You're making me worried
I know what I did is unpardonable
I'm not asking you to forgive me,
but please give me a chance
Fine
I swear...
if I let you down again,
I'll live in poverty and solitude all my life...
and die a terrible death
Listen good
I don't want to have anything...
to do with Liu or that company
OK, you've my word that you won't see him again
You'll be removed from your position too
I'll find another job for you
Don't bother
I'll do it myself
OK, don't worry
I'll apply for a long-term visit pass for you
There's a condo unit I like in East Coast
Let's move into it...
and lead a high-class life
Without high moral standards,
you won't be high class...
no matter where you live
In any case, let's move out of this place
All the people here are freaks,
especially Big Brother
He's eccentric
He told me just now you were dead
I am dead
I'm dead inside
Move out if you want
I'm staying here
What are you trying to do, Brother Big Brother?
What are you trying to do?
Come down - What? I'm jumping
Don't do that
You should be looking for Granny Swordswoman
Why do you want to jump into the river?
To look for her
Stallone wouldn't stop barking when he got here
My grandma must've jumped down
Granny Swordswoman
Where are you, Granny Swordswoman?
You idiot. If Granny Swordswoman had jumped down,
she'd have been washed away already
Don't get in my way. I'm jumping
Now go
Come down
Don't be stupid
Granny Swordswoman
Granny - You're sick
You made Stallone and me shout ourselves hoarse
I had to resort to this or you wouldn't show yourself
Indeed I didn't want to show myself
I didn't want to see you again
Just what did I do to offend you?
The whole world is reprehending me
They say I've spoilt you rotten...
and brought you up to be...
an idler and a good-for-nothing
It's my fault you've achieved nothing
I'm getting old, and you no longer listen to me
Enough is enough
I can no longer stand the sight of you
I'd rather be an old stray dog
Hear that? Stallone's protesting
Don't joke about dogs
You think it's fun to be an old stray dog?
Don't listen to those gossips and tattlers
They're jealous of you...
because you have a capable and devoted grandson
They're trying to upset you
Fine, they're gossips and tattlers
Let me ask Weixiong and Meimei...
whether I'm responsible for the way you are
You're right, Granny Swordswoman
You brought him up
If he's praised, you'll feel proud too
But if he's looked down upon,
you'll be blamed as well
Don't add insult to injury
Look who's talking
If you weren't such a letdown,
your grandma would be enjoying her old age now...
instead of worrying for you
You keep talking about enjoying old age
You think...
watching the sun come out and waiting for it to set...
is enjoying life?
You're just waiting for your time to be up
You must have a goal in life
So long as you don't lose your mobility,
you should work
If you don't sell lottery tickets, at least grow flowers,
weed the gardens or help wipe out mozzies and roaches...
to contribute to society
What? - Can I say something?
Sure, you're free to voice your opinion
You find my words make a lot of sense...
and you're going to praise me?
No. I don't know what's the point...
you're trying to make
I don't know how to put it
Do it slowly
This is how I look at it
If Granny Swordswoman thinks...
she's responsible for your being a good-for-nothing,
you should prove it to her you're not a good-for-nothing...
instead of talking about...
wiping out roaches and all that
Well said
Meimei
That's the point I'm trying to make
You're ganging up on me
It's OK, I've my supporter
You're with me, aren't you, Stallone?
Excuse me? You're turning your back on me too?
Fine
All of you are taking me for an enemy
She ran away from home, you ignore me,
and you side with them
Even the dog I trust most...
has turned his back on me
I've no choice but to leave
That's my intention anyway
I leave not because I want to make big bucks
I just think I should ﬂy since I've wings
OK, I announce that I'm going to fly
Your head is rock-hard
Granny Swordswoman is gone
Where are you, Granny Swordswoman?
Granny
Hello, I'm busy
It's not that I don't care
What? You found Aunt but she gave you the slip?
It's not like Aunt is a kampong chicken...
that runs about
Now, if anything happens to Aunt...
I'll get back to you. Bye
You've a tummy ache, Youme?
I'm hungry
Their company is big,
but they don't even serve any water or biscuits
That's why I think you're absolutely right
What about? I've said many things
You said the rich is miserly and scheming
You bet
That's why I'm thinking
A heartless fella like George Pu...
wouldn't become nice to me just because I'm carrying his child
He might just make me go for an abortion and pay for the fee
That's likely
The rich are like that
They'd splurge on horses, cars and mistresses
But other things? No way
What should I do then?
Now, Ajussi,
if you can fight for 300K as compensation for me,
I'll give you a 10% commission, OK?
Money has no place in our relationship, Youme
I know you're good to me. I should be fair
You deserve a reward
In that case...
Save it. I'll never marry you
Mission impossible
What's keeping that fella?
I'll go get him
Sorry, I had to take instructions. Sorry to keep you waiting
Ms Diana
Hello, the pregnancy test report reads positive
I've received a copy of it
Does that fella know about it?
No, he doesn't
Why are you keeping it from him?
Is this some kind of trick? Get him out here
I'm afraid I can't do that
Sure?
Let's go, Youme
We're leaving?
It's obvious that fella doesn't want to see us
But it's OK, we'll hold a press conference
Everyone in Singapore will find out what he did
George has been hospitalised because of a car accident
He's unable to see you
That's too much of a coincidence
He had an accident in New York...
and is currently being warded at a hospital in America
The chairman, who's George's father,
has instructed me to handle Ms Diana's case with care
What will you do about it?
Please sit down
The chairman hopes Ms Diana will...
take good care of herself
So what if she does?
Is he going to accept her as a daughter-in-law?
Of course not
It's just hot air then
The chairman hopes Ms Diana will take care of herself...
until a DNA paternity testing can be done
What's that supposed to mean?
I know who fathers my child
Is there something you're worried about?
Why would I be worried? Of course not
The DNA paternity testing...
shouldn't bother you much then
Certainly not
We just want to know when it can be done
That's for the doctor to decide
Meanwhile, we'll pay for Ms Diana's living expenses...
and all expenses pertaining to the pregnancy
That's not good enough
The TV station is signing her up
She's going to be popular
They're going to make me a female lead
If I don't sign the contract soon, they'll go to someone else
I'll suffer heavy losses
How will you compensate her for that?
The chairman says if the DNA paternity testing result...
shows George is the father of the child,
Ms Diana will receive $3 million as consolation money
$3 million?
Ms Diana
ls the arrangement OK with you?
It is - It's not
Now, it's not that we're greedy
$3 million for bearing him a child?
I'll have no more future to talk about
George Pu once told me...
he'd spend over $2 mil on a sports car
Am I not even worth two sports car?
Precisely
Let's not waste our breath with him
They just take you for a baby-making machine
Tell that chairman of yours...
to forget about paying us or doing any test
We'll just abort the baby
Right, I'll go for an abortion
Let's go find a doctor this minute
How much do you want?
Name the price so I can seek approval from the chairman
Tell him $3 million is unacceptable
We want...
$10 million
$10 million is an exorbitant amount
You think they'll say yes?
There are two things the rich fear -
death and having no posterity
No posterity?
It means having no descendants
What's the point of being loaded when you're heirless?
When you were with the gynae, I did a search online
George Pu's father has five children -
three daughters and two sons
I heard his elder brother is gone
George Pu is the only son left
And he's met with a car accident
The secretary didn't elaborate on it
But trust me, his condition must be very serious
That's why George Pu's father is anxious
The baby you're carrying could be his only descendant
You mean my baby could be his successor?
I'm rich
That's why $10 mil isn't a lot
I'm glad you came with me,
or I'd have foolishly accepted the $3 mil
Don't rejoice too soon. They've yet to say yes
Trust me, they'll soon call...
Surely not? What did I tell you?
Not so soon
See, it's my bro
Hello, what's up?
Go home, now?
Where's Jinguang?
He's gone to get painkillers for me
You're in pain, Uncle Hai?
Sorry - Ouch
You can't keep popping painkillers
I know, but the pain is really killing me
I'm not a doctor. What did you ask me to come back for?
I'm in great pain, and you still sound so sarcastic
I came back as Jinguang told me to. What more do you want?
OK... Go and have some water
Uncle Hai
My piles are hurting me so much
But instead of comforting me,
she's sulking
No, she's concerned about you
Do you have the doctor's number?
Why?
I'm a C ward patient, you know
It's not a private hospital I go to
The doctors wouldn't bother about me
Don't tell me they'll ignore you...
if I take you to hospital?
Want to get him to go to hospital?
You might as well kill him
The government spends a fortune on building hospitals
Don't waste the opportunity. Go stay there for a few days
I know
Hospitals are as grand as hotels these days
It'll cost a bomb to stay there
The fees are subsidised by the government
So what?
Some of the money still has to come from my own pocket
Business at my shop is going downhill
I'd be glad if I could make $10 a day
Don't worry about money. I'll pay for your medical fees
Let's go this minute then. Call an ambulance
Thanks, Fann Wong
Aunt is back?
Yet he has the appetite?
Let him eat while he still can
He's going to take flight soon
Where's he going?
Beats me
Looks delish
You're running away, leaving us to clean up the mess for you?
Clean up the mess?
You made Aunt leave and also got a loan from loan sharks
That's a mess all right
Indeed Grandma left because she was angry with me
But I didn't borrow money from loan sharks
Where did the 40K you gave Potty Mouth's wife come from then?
It couldn't have come from your butt
If I'd borrowed money from loan sharks,
why didn't they set fire to our ﬂat...
like the last time, almost turning Grandma and me into roast pigs?
You'd do a thing like that, but not me
Some more rice, Fann Wong
Don't give me all that crap
Sure you're not skipping town?
Why should I do that?
I don't dupe anybody into...
joining some gold buy-back scheme which promises more than ten percent interest a year
I don't cheat people out of their money
When the perpetrator is found out one day,
he'll run away
Worry about yourself first
You're still lull of hot air after causing all the trouble
That's better than going to jail
Thanks, Fann Wong
You cook better than my grandma does
A pity I don't see any worms in the veggies
Worms are nothing to be afraid of...
compared to human beings,
especially the people around you
Big Brother
Is Granny Swordswoman not coming back today?
No
She's left for good
What should we do? She's so advanced in age
Relax, she'll be able to survive for at least a week or two
When she comes back after that,
I'll be able to leave this place
But...
No buts
She may be old, but she's sprightly
Another bowl of rice, please
You still want more rice?
Sure. I sleep better if my stomach is full
That'll do
I doubt he'll come back so soon
Is this enough?
Sure. A pair of briefs can see him through ten days
OK, get him an extra pair
What are you guys up to?
Aren't you going aWaY7
Here you go, here's your "parachute"
I didn't say I was going to leave now
Why wait?
You may just change your mind
For Granny Swordswoman's sake,
the sooner you leave, the better
You guys are heartless
Don't you hear the thunder rumbling?
What if I leave now and get struck by lightning?
The early bird catches the worm...
while the late bird gets struck by lightning and becomes charred
Be good and put it on
Don't waste your breath with him, Ye Xiaoying
He's just stalling for time
You left, I right
What's that?
I haven't finished eating
Don't eat so much. You can't fly if you're too fat
I haven't decided what path to take yet
Even if there's no path, you'll figure a way out
To do that, you must first leave the house
Right. Aunt has said it
You must fly high...
if you want to be successful
Don't come back even if she passes on
When did Grandma give you all those instructions?
As her nephew, I know what's on her mind
Stop behaving like an old lady. Get going
Night is going to fall soon
OK, kiss me goodbye before I leave
All right
I wouldn't want a kiss from you
Teddy
Let's bid each other goodbye
My nose
I know where I'll go
I'm going to Korea for plastic surgery
Bye, Teddy
He doesn't even bother to turn back to look
Heartless fella
Teddy
I love you
I'll come back to marry you...
as my mistress
Go to hell
Bye-bye
Here I go
Subtitles: S Lin, Mediacorp TV